小食 /Auntie’s Beef Offal
Zhenhao Shi’s piece 小食 / Auntie’s Beef Offal is translated by Poppy Toland. A dragon snakes through the story, in the form of a queue of customers waiting in the street to buy offal from a trader who has gained unexpected online notoriety.
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小食
史镇豪
珠江路仓前直街，沿路直走，见到最多人排队的地方，肯定就是阿姨牛杂。阿姨每天下午两点准时出摊，推着一辆改装过的三轮车，后座焊了一个加长铁架，钉上木板，载着一个大炭炉，一大煲牛杂。穿街过巷，在仓前直街尾的丁字路口停下，摆好架罉，两点半准时开卖。如无意外，路口早已站满了食客，等阿姨的三轮车一停好，自动神龙摆尾，一条队伍沿街一甩而去。偶尔会遇到些不懂规矩的客人蜂拥而上，被七嘴八舌淹没的阿姨，便会在人堆中一声怒吼，“急乜撚，排队等。”
真正使阿姨一吼成名的是，她在一档网络美食节目中的怒骂。
屏幕里的长焦镜头带着呼吸感的晃动。新鲜宰杀的牛肉从屠宰间里拉了出来，两位身穿白色制服，戴着蓝色手套的壮汉，合力把一块半人高的后腿平移到不锈钢案台上。肉联厂的零售柜台前站满了人。特写镜头往前推近。握着刀的蓝色手套在鲜红的画面里来回闪动，一条手臂粗的完整的牛腱从画面中被挖了出来，蓝色手套举起牛腱，“嘭！”一声不锈钢空洞的巨响，牛腱被重重地摔回不锈钢案台上。忽然的外力似乎拍醒了它的神经，牛腱的筋膜在盲目抽搐，最后一下震颤，就像铂金森病人颤抖的小腿。
画面外传来买肉人一阵阵低声的，“噢！”
“掉哪妈!”突如其来的一声怒吼把屏幕吓了一跳。画面在买肉人中转了一圈，落在人群外的阿姨身上。她重重地摔下一个带盖子的白色塑料桶，指着镜头背后的摄影师，快步走近，一路高声咒骂，“你拍咩拍，你有冇人性嘎！人哋都未投胎，你就喺度拍！真係冇阴功。正扑街……”在慌乱的画面外，阿姨的咒骂声持续了一分多钟，夹杂着几声摄影师的道歉和一小段背景音乐。往下滑动屏幕，关于“阿姨牛杂”的回复，在评论区被高赞置顶。
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qwer02222222：
这是仓前直街的阿姨？可怜的摄影师。
ganbao回复@qwer02222222：
哈，不愧是拥有传说厨具“大风炉”的阿姨。
**user-031ph324： **
难怪阿姨的牛杂这么好吃，原来是真正的温体肉，只要刺激神经，它就还能动！罪过，罪过。
lok19990230：
她是谁？好可怕的活死肉……
user-kv785t650回复@lok19990230：
阿姨牛杂。老饕们眼中硕果仅存的正宗碳炉牛杂。你吃过现切的八爪鱼腿刺身吗？那才是真正的活死肉，它甚至还会缠绕着你舌头，你的舌头必须在嘴巴里把它推开，才能开始慢慢咀嚼。黏在牙龈上的小块肉屑，扭动起来就像果冻一样机灵。
qwer02222222回复@ganbao：
Doge？
user-020510030回复@lok19990230：
阿姨牛杂，简直是业界的良心。别怕，只有如此新鲜的内脏，才能彻底排空污血。阿姨把每一块内脏都清洗得干干净净，没有一丝多余的杂味。特别是牛肠，干净得只有脂肪的香气。
ganbao回复@qwer02222222：
哈，我就知道你们肯定没有人听说过阿姨的传说厨具——“大风炉”！
ganbao回复@lok19990230：
阿姨煮牛杂所用的碳炉十分讲究，是正正宗宗的“大风炉”。现存还在使用的“大风炉”屈指可数，阿姨的这个碳炉，算得上是件古董了。其中由来，可值得一说。
话说从前。1854年洪兵起义围城，数十万洪兵水陆两路前后夹击，陆军围攻东、北、西三面城门，南城门外沿江被数千艘战船锁死。守城总督当即下令，斩杀所有通匪者。洪兵围城半年，却久攻不下，最终撤围转战外省。现在的仓前直街一带，正是当年南城门外的刑场。据资料显示，当年在这里斩下的头颅，可能有十万颗。喷涌的鲜血卷着泥土流淌，吸饱了血的泥浆，在地面汇聚成坑坑洼洼的黑色血泊。经过日晒、蒸腾、风干，刑场的地面凝固了一层如铁锈般的赭色泥土，这正是烧制大风炉的最佳材料。正宗的大风炉有小孩的一抱宽，比用普通陶土烧制的风炉颜色要更深一些，使用时能经受更猛的火力，而且炉身会越烧越硬，经过长时间的烧炼，甚至会如钢板般坚固，更加耐用，非常适合长时间的熬煮烹饪。
再说一个秘闻。阿姨的这煲牛杂几十年来都没有停过火，同一煲卤汁，一直在慢火细滚。每日都会滤走多余的残渣，填补新鲜的食材和香料，加水，继续熬煮。反复浓缩，煮了成千上万斤的牛杂，这是献祭了时间的味道，简直就是街头小食的安魂曲。
lok19990230：
不好意思，各位。
其实有没有一种可能，阿姨这几十年来，真的在安魂？
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Auntie’s Beef Offal
translated by Poppy Toland
From Zhujiang Road walk straight along Cangqian Street, and the spot where you see most people queuing is sure to be “Auntie’s beef offal”. Every afternoon at two sharp, Auntie appears, pushing along her modified tricycle, an extended iron frame welded to its back seat with wooden planks nailed to it, holding a large charcoal stove and a big pot of beef offal. She walks through streets and alleys, stopping at the crossing at the end of Cangqian Street to set up her stall, and at two thirty on the dot, she’s open for business. All being well, the crossing will be heaving with customers who wait for Auntie’s tricycle to stop before automatically forming a queue, moving smoothly down the street like the slinking tail of a dragon. Occasionally there will be customers who do not understand the rules and rush up to the front, and Auntie, overwhelmed by their clamour, will roar “Where’s the fire! Queue up and wait your turn!”
What made Auntie an overnight sensation was the roasting she gave someone during an online food show.
On the screen, the long focus lens sways with the rhythm of breath. The meat of a freshly slaughtered cow is pulled from an abattoir, and two burly men in white uniforms and blue gloves work together to heft the hind leg, half the height of a person, onto a stainless-steel counter. The service counter of the meat processing factory is thronged with people. The close-up lens zooms in closer. A knife in a blue gloved hand flashes back and forth in a scene of vivid red. A whole beef tendon, as thick as an arm, is cut away and out of shot. The blue gloved hand holds up the beef tendon and there is a loud hollow thud of stainless steel as the tendon is slapped back down. The sudden impact seems to reanimate the nerves of the beef tendon and its fascia convulsing blindly, one last shudder, like the trembling leg of a Parkinson’s sufferer.
“Oh,” come the offscreen murmurs of meat buyers.
“What the fuck!” A sudden roar jolts the screen. The camera pans around the meat buyers then moves outside the crowd and lands on Auntie. She slams down a white plastic bucket with a lid, pointing at the cameraman behind the lens, who she strides towards, letting out a trail of abuse: “What the hell have you been filming, have you no human decency! Do you only think of yourself, filming here like this! What a complete waste of space. Asking for trouble…” Amidst this chaotic scene, Auntie’s tirade continues for over a minute, mingled with the cameraman’s apologies and a snippet of background music. Scrolling down the screen, responses to #AuntiesBeefOffal are the most liked and are pinned at the top of the comments section.
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qwer02222222:
Is that Auntie from Cangqian Street? Poor Cameraman.
ganbao replying to@qwer02222222:
Ha, it’s the legendary auntie of the great wind stove fame.
user-031ph324:
No wonder Auntie’s beef offal is so good, it turns out it’s actually warm-bodied meat – all you do is stimulate its nerves and off it goes! Forgive my poor taste!
lok19990230:
Who is she? Terrifying living meat….
user-kv785t650 replying to @lok19990230:
Auntie’s beef offal. Food connoisseurs say that hers is the last surviving authentic charcoal stove-cooked beef offal. Have you ever eaten freshly sliced octopus leg sashimi? That’s actual living meat – it even wraps round your tongue – you need to push it off before you can slowly start chewing. Small pieces of flesh get stuck in your teeth and wriggle like jelly.
qwer02222222replying to @ganbao:
Doge?
user-020510030replying to @lok19990230:
Auntie’s beef offal, the conscientious choice. Fear not, only from such fresh offal can you thoroughly remove impure blood. Auntie cleans every section of the organs so thoroughly that there isn’t a hint of odour. Her beef intestine is so clean that all you can smell is the fragrance of fat.
ganbao replying to@qwer02222222:
Ha, I could tell you hadn’t heard of Auntie’s legendary piece of kitchen equipment – “the great wind stove”.
Ganbao replying to@lok19990230:
Auntie has a specialist charcoal stove to cook her beef offal, it’s an authentic great wind stove. There are very few still in use, so Auntie’s charcoal stove can be considered an antique. It has an interesting history.
Way back during the 1854 Taiping rebellion, hundreds of thousands of rebels besieged this city over land and water. The army surrounded the east, north and west city gates, while thousands of battleships blocked the river along the south gate. The rebels surrounded the city for many months but failed to break through and eventually retreated to other provinces. The city governor ordered the execution of all those colluding with the rebels, and Canqian Street of today is the exact same site as the execution ground outside the south gate from back then. According to historic records, some 100,000 heads rolled here. The blood that spurted out mixed with the earth, the blood-soaked mud converging into black pools. After long-term exposure to sunlight, evaporation and wind, the ground of the execution site solidified into a layer of rust-coloured soil, which is the best material for making a great wind stove. An authentic Great wind stove is as wide as a child’s hug, and is darker than a normal clay stove. It can withstand a stronger heat, and the stove body becomes harder the more it is used. With prolonged heating, it becomes as sturdy as steel plate, suitable for lengthy periods of cooking.
I’ll let you in on another secret. Auntie’s beef offal pot has been cooking constantly for decades, that same pot of broth simmering continuously on a low flame. Every day she filters out the excess residue, replenishes the fresh ingredient and seasoning, pours in new water, and continues to let it simmer. The broth has been continuously condensed, having cooked thousands of kilos of beef offal. It is a taste dedicated to time itself, the requiem of street foods.
lok19990230:
Excuse me, everyone, but has Auntie maybe been cooking up a requiem for lost souls all these years?